Needing a rest

Yesterday I went for a colonoscopy.  Now most people would dread the idea but having been there, done that I only thought of the rest it was going to give me when I went under the tranquil sleep. Funny but instead of feeling groggy when I woke up I was actually refreshed.
Today Micheal, our son and I are going to get a new kitten.   Kids living with a parent of MS have special challenges.  Michael is ADHD and needs a lot of attention.   I may be crazy thinking of getting a cat but I'm really hoping the cat will wear off some of the ubundant energy Mike has.  We tried a puppy once but he bit at Brad's ankles so much and Brad could not move away as his legs and feet were starting to lose the ability to move.  We finally had to find a new home for  the puppy. 

My first post

This blog is really for me as a place to vent or express myself.  A caregivers life can be very lonely.  I've been a caregiver for about 7 years now.  At first I was helping my sister stay at home.  She wanted to die in her own house and I made it so.  She passed away on Nov. 17, 2007.  Very shortly after that my husband was diagnosed with primary progressive MS.   I had already left my part time job to care for my sister and help take care of her 2 year old adopted son.  Now I cared for the baby full time and started caring for my husband.  I had no time to take a break.   On top of that we were really struggling financially.   It took us another year before we could get set up with a disability pension for my husband.   I had to find a way to earn money while staying at home.  I started a website and got busy sewing.  Before long I was buried under a backlog of orders that I couldn't fill.  It just seemed the harder I tried the further I got behind.   All of a sudden I felt like everything was falling on my shoulders from changing light bulbs to making sure the taxes were paid.  There were times I felt like hiding or just running away.  Each time those feelings came over me I would lean on food for comfort or  perhaps I just stared into space. 
We did get some help in the form of live in nannies.   I thought that would be my saving grace.  Not so.  We went for quite a while on our own until one time when my husband landed in the hospital and I nearly had a nervous breakdown.  It was then that we were advised that we had to have help or he would have to stay in a nursing home.   Luck was on our side when we contacted the Red Cross and they did have someone willing to drive to our house.  We don't live in a city so it's hard to get help around here. 

A few weeks ago my husband and I traveled to Mexico where he underwent the Liberation treatment.   At this time he could not walk  or stand or barely hold himself up while sitting.   The trip terrified me   We did make it there and back and I guess my blog will continue from his journey of healing and my journey of caring.